What family values did you grow up with? How and why were these valued?

Reflecting on your own family and your role as a parent, what values come to mind for your family? How are these being upheld and are you confident in your “why?” - why are these values necessary and important for your family to uphold? If you feel confident in your “why” then you will feel confident in working to uphold these values…

Here are two important ways to help instill family values:

1. Try to consistently MODEL your family’s values. If you want your child to say “please and thank you,” then you should be saying it. If you want your child to use a respectful tone of voice, then you should be speaking respectfully. Your modeling is not just in interactions with your child, but with anyone! At stores, at work, while driving - children are absorbing and watching our actions constantly. By the time the child is 9 or 10 years old, they have made a lot of observations of their parents’ behaviors and have learned the difference between “do as I say…” vs. “act as I do” (in big and small ways).

2. To help uphold your family’s values, be CLEAR & CONSISTENT in setting the appropriate BOUNDARIES. For example, if your child speaks in a rude way, you can calmly and kindly hold the boundary connected to your family’s values by gently reminding them: “It’s OK to feel angry. One of our family’s values is to express our feelings in a way that does not cause more hurt or harm. When I hear that tone, I feel attacked. I’m here to help. Can you share with me what’s going on in a way that will feel OK for us both and help us move forward?” Or another example, if your family values limited screen time and your child is arguing with you about wanting more, you can say something such as, “Our family values balancing screen time with other activities. Our agreed upon time was 30 minutes and it’s now past that time. Would you like me to turn off the TV or will you be able to do so?” The more you say what you mean and mean what you say, the less they will try and negotiate because they have clear and consistent boundaries that they know are non-negotiable.

Wishing you well!